a day to remember

i look forwaerd to this day every year. it only comes once a year. during this time i dont know why but i like to changed everything to make sure no one know cause i alrd told them. this year was dissapointing uh. alot of ppl forgot. those i hang out with almost everyday, those who are like brothers to me and those who i just told them, didnt say anything. you know how sad is that? very. anw small matter. i just wanna know and the truth hurts sometimes. but to those who knew it was coming and did something abt it, thanks you guys. really appreciate it. means alot to me. thanks for remembering, MY 20TH BIRTHDAY

anw i started my day way early, just past midnight. couldnt sleep actually till abt 2, was watching tv. slept awhile then sahur then slept til abt1. 2 of my friends planned to go out yday act only like they dont know it was my bdae. hahaha. one of them i knew since pri 1. Zack, we practically grew up together. he knows me so well that he'll expect the unexpected of me. he understands me like he is me. i love this dude. the other is my sec sch mate since sec 1 i known him. Mario, nice guy. always made the butt of every joke but he doesnt care. we all met at 4 at zacks place but he always take his own sweet time so me and mario waited at his void deck, lucky got fan. anw from far i saw this nursing girl. i didnt know it was her but when she got closer, i knew that curly hair from anywhere. i like her but nah, too short. hahhahaa. when zack came we walked to hg plaza bus stop to wait for bus go jalan besar stadium. zack gave me a rugby ball for my bdae and 20 hard punches. damn it hurts. then suddenly got these 2 mat reps fanatic came up to us and only asked me this,

matrep: bro, tanye eh. sini sume main ape uh?
me: entah tak tau
matrep: kau main mane nye uh?
me: aku? main baju? tak uh, malas.
matrep: abeh ape tadi pose2?
me: pose2? ape sak?
matrep: asal die tumbok kau?
me: bdae bash la.
matrep: oh kk. aku arab.
me: isham

boy that was awkward. i hate when this happens. mistaken identity. like wtf sia. i know la my body big, i know la i botak but that doesnt mean im a gang member. if you have a tattoo means you gangster? its called body art. if you a guy and doe hairdressing, you gay meh? its an interest
eh you how old uh want to ask ppl you where one? cb you think being in gang fight everyday anyhow whack here there for fun uh? gang is abt making money. you guys too yp to knw. lucky it was my bdae or not i wouldve shut him up. zack told me why he nvr ask him. lucky uh. knowing zack, he would have fucked him up.

after that went to jln besar collect zack's tix them went to little india breakfast. jln2 at geylang then went home. i had alot of fun. i havent laughed so badly in a long time. i missed those days where all i do all day is laugh. thanks you guys for a great day. thanks everyone for remembering.

inevitable

why does this happen to me? year after year i get this. is it a sign? is it cause im working to hard? i get sick of getting sick during fasting month. fever headache cold coughh muscle cramps. oh well just have to deal with being at 38.1C.

anw my friend wants me to intro him to my "lady friends". like what happened to him? what happened to the guy i loved hanging out with. who jokes ard, care free, simple, informative, chilled dude i met in sec sch. now whenever he calls to hang im finding reasons not to. he changed after sec sch. all i hear now are i like this girl, im after this girl bla bla bla. cant he just like let it go, stay single and enjoy life awhile? as if he gonna die without a girlfriend. so what no gf? i dont have one. who cares. i can go out whenever i want to with whoever i want to. no need report strength everynight or every sec. my money doesnt disappear. no heartaches. i dont know what to tell him anymore. i alrd told him what i felt but cant get through his head. he says oh ive been single for a year. so what. me too. im still alive. go find prostitute la, pay her 200 can layan you whole night

fucked up week _I_

this week has been fucked up. really. okay i got a call on monday for an interview on tue 330pm like finally from this bakery shop at 12.10pm. so after i put down i looked for my portfolio and bang it wasnt there. like wtf sia. i left it on the floor for like months and its been dusty so what it was there after i printed out my resume and left it there before we left for cck campus.

-i miss clementi ite. its the best. even if its small, its cosy, comfortable, slack. overall my kinda place. plus the chicks were all tere. concentrated. hahahha.

anw i searched for it high and low. turned my room upside down. under the bed, behind com, beind drawers, under the mat but cant find. asked everyone at home, even my gmama and uncle. asked elder bro but no reply my sms. i even went cck to find it in my locker, who knows it might be there. only my safety boots so i brought it back. continued searching till like 10plus then my bro called saying he was using my file and my papers are in mums room. like wtf sia, he couldve at least tell me, basic courtersy. some ppl really need a punch to the face. anw wile i was finding it i was texting her. she so sweet sia wanna come over at like 8 to help me find. so i told her tue at 7am. after my bro called it tried calling her telling her no need la help but phone was off. so wth let her come over uh slack.

-anw i dont like her that way. we're just friends and she said the 1st time met her i sombong. wth i from montfort sia, that time we met was 1st few months ite. i shy la. hhahahah

tried calling again at 7 the next day but no ans so wth dont care uh. then she called at 8am saying she at hg mrt alrd so i went to fetch her and slacked at my place watch YOG till abt 12 send her back got ready for my intervie. it was okay. still waiting though. gonna apply coffeebean uh

-oh YOG, gd job Jaime Emma Wee. the guys and girls of all weight categories, power sia. fuyo

this morning was on fb and saw my friend fb profile pic with Ronnie. yes, The Ronnie Coleman, the 8time Mr Olympia Champion, The Legend himself was in sgp on wed for the premiere of The Expandable as a guest. being a bodybuilder of course must guest pose right. omg i fucking missed it sia. a ONCE in a lifetime opportunity to meet the man himself. of course im upset. some brader said i thought you knew. CB la!! if i know i wouldve talked to you abt it right, asking you to tag along. KNNBCCB!!!!! i wanna cry sia

its been awhile

its been awhile, yeah. alot of shit happened to me since dec 07. back then i was sec 4 going on to sec 5. passe my n's then going off to o's but flunk. after o's i worked, fell in love then got heart broken when sch reopened, met someone, shit sch but lovd the environment very slack. met alot of new ppl. dont feel belonged cause im way too smart for ite. been carrying on with life, heart healing hoping/praying for everything to get better and it did. thanks God. and oh ive been smoking awhile now. everyones been asking why, my pasal uh, other than killing myself, this is my release. i think since sunday im not going madrasah(religious classes) anymore, i think im updating the blog, for kicks